Naruto Without Fillers
by Dosu Disciple
Summary: Ever wonder what Naruto is like without the fillers, side characters, and character development? This is more or less like that.


I do not own Naruto!

* * *

**ONCE THERE WAS A DEMON ORPHAN BOY NAMED NARUTO.** Like all orphans he went to ninja school. There he met another orphan named Sasuke and some whore named Sakura. One day the Hokage told them,

"With your ninja skills you're perfect for fixing a bridge! But don't worry, we'll send our best ninja to help you fix it instead of guarding the village!"

**AND THEN THEY WENT TO THE BRIDGE.**

A wild Zabuza appeared! A wild Haku appeared!

Go Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura!

Haku used gender bender!

It's super effective!

Sakura fled!

Sasuke and Naruto used teamwork!

It's super effective!

Haku fainted!

Kakashi used sharingan!

Zabuza used dramatic death!

Zabuza fainted!  
**AND THEN THEY RETURNED TO THE VILLAGE.**

Iruka told Naruto, "Hey you defeated one of the most wanted criminals ever that's cool bro but to be a real ninja you have to win: THE HUNGER GAMES!"

**AND THEN THEY WENT TO THE HUNGER- I MEAN FOREST OF DEATH. AND JUST LIKE THE REAL HUNGER GAMES NO ONE WAS HUNGRY AND MORE PEOPLE SURVIVED THAN SHOULD HAVE.**

"Aw yeah, I won the hunger games!" Naruto shouted.

"So did everyone else from this village, it's almost like it was rigged or something." Sasuke replied.

The Hokage heard this and told Kakashi, "Sasuke knows too much, take him away from the village so he doesn't let anyone else know!"

**AND THEN KAKASHI TOOK SASUKE AWAY FROM THE VILLAGE**

"Oh heeeeey there Naruto!" Iruka said as he appeared out of no where.

"Iruka sensei! I'm a real ninja now!"

"Actualy, you need to win a tournament first!"

"Well, at least Sasuke's gone, now I have a chance at winning!"

"I'm back bitches." Sasuke said as he returned.

**AND THEN SASUKE WON. BIG SURPRISE.**

"Hey naruto, remember how I'm the last Uchiha? I lied." Sasuke told Naurto.

"Okay."

"You're not surprised?"

"Not really."

"Wow, it's like you don't even care. I'm running away to a pedophile snake man."

"No Sasuke! Without you I'm stuck with Sakura!"

"Too bad!"

**AND THEN SASUKE LEFT.**

"Waaaaaaaah, I am sad." Said Naruto who was sad.

"Hey Sasuke is actually just in the forest." Said Tsunade who's the new Hokage since the old one stabbed himself.

"Quick! Get everyone but Shino and the women! And make sure they're all children! No good ninjas! Let's go get Sasuke!"

"I'm Kimimaro, and I won't let anyone- HNNNNNNNGGG!"Said Kimimaro who then died of a heart attack.

**AND THEN THEY FOUGHT AND SASUKE WON (BIG SURPRISE) AND SASUKE LEFT.**

Then Jiraiya, Naruto's sensei, said "Hey Naruto let's go for a quick training trip."

"Yaaaaaaay."

**AND THEN THEY WENT TRAINING AND RETURNED 4 YEARS LATER.**

"Well, what did you learn?" Jiraiya asked Naruto.

"Umm...hot springs are the best place for research?"

"That's my student!"

"NARUTO THE AKATSUKI KIDNAPPED THE KAZIKAGE!" Tsunade yelled at Naruto.

"So? The kazikage attacked us before why do we care?"

"The Akatsuki are kidnapping tailed beasts! We can't let them do that! So we're sending you!"

"But I have a tailed-"

"TOO BAD! It's dangerous to go alone take this!"

Naruto obtained Kakashi and Sakura!  
**AND THEN THEY WENT TO SAVE THE KAZIKAGE.**

* * *

"Hey Deidara your art sucks." Sasori told Deidara.

"No your art sucks!" Deidara replied.

"No one cares." Said Gaara who's the Kazikage.

"Shut up bitch!" Deidara ordered as he slapped Gaara.

"You're so kawaii when you're mad Deidara kun!" Sasori said.

"LET'S MAKE OUT!"

**AND THEN THEY MADE OUT**

"My yaoi senses are tingling! This way!" Sakura shouted.

**AND THEN THEY FOUND THE AKATSUKI.**

"Oh shit, knock before entering!" Sasori yelled.

"Un!"

"OMG It's so hot!" Said Sakura.

**AND THEN SAKURA FAINTED**

"Well this sucks!" Deidara said as he flew away with Gaara.

Kakashi said, "Quick! Naruto come with me! Sakura, stay here and fight Sasori! Remember, he's an Akatsuki member so he's extremely dangerous and he defeated whole armies by himself! K THNX BAI!"

**AND THEN KAKASHI LEFT WITH NARUTO**

"...what?" Asked Sakura as she woke up."

"FIGHT ME BITCH!"

**AND THEN SASORI SLAUGHTERED-wait, Sakura won?**

"Yaaay." Said Sakura.

"Nooooo! He was my lover!" Deidara yelled.

"There he is! EYE ATTACK!" Then Kakashi attack Deidara with his eyes but he missed.

"Screw you guys, I'm going home!" So Deidara ran away.

"Gaara died." Naruto announced.

"Well we beat the Akatsuki, and our enemy nation's leader died, this couldn't have been better!" Kakashi replied.

"LIVE DAMN YOU!" Screamed an old lady as she ran up and died.

"I'm back." Said Gaara.

"What the fu-"

**AND THEN THEY RETURNED HOME.**

"I'm tired." Said Kakashi

**AND THEN KAKASHI FAINTED AND THEY TOOK HIM TO THE HOSPITAL.**

Tsunade told Naruto, "Naruto! Sasuke's hiding under a rock! Take this testicle obsessed boring guy and save him!"

"Hello, my name is Sai. You have tiny balls."

"And take this even creepier guy!"

"My name is Yamato. I will stare at you constantly."

"What the fu-"

**AND THEY WENT TO SAVE SASUKE.**

"Sasuke come home!"

"No."

**AND THEN THEY GAVE UP ON SASUKE.**

"Oh no! More akatsuki!" Yelled Tsunade.

"Well, let's go stop them!" Shouted Naruto.

"Nah, let's send Asuma's team."

**AND THEN ASUMA, SHIKAMARU, INO, AND CHOJI WENT TO STOP THEM**

* * *

"Ahaha, so much money!" Said Kakazu.

"Money is a sin! YOU'RE a sin!" Said Hidan.

"Bitch I'll cut you!"

"I'm already cutting myself!"

"STOP CRIMINAL SCUM!" Shouted Asuma.

**AND THEN HIDAN SLASHED ASUMA.**

"Oh no Asuma!" Shikamaru yelled.

"Don't worry...I think I can survive this."

**AND THEN LUNG CANCER!**

Asuma died.

"Quick we need backup!"

Kakashi, Yamato, and Naruto appeared!"

"Bitch please, I'm immortal!" Hidan said.

"That's what all villains say!"

"No really! I'm really immortal!"

"PITFALL NO JUTSU!" Shikamaru shouted.

**AND THEN HIDAN FELL INTO A PIT**

"I'll be back! You'll see! Jashin won't leave me here! I'LL BE BACK!"

"No you won't."

"But, but...everyone loves me!"

"Too bad."  
**AND THEN HIDAN WAS NEVER SEEN AGAIN.**

"Did you forget me?" Asked Kakazu.

**AND THEN NARUTO KILLED KAKAZU.**

* * *

**MEANWHILE UNDER OROCHIMARU'S ROCK.**

"Orochimaru you only want to molest me I'm going to kill you!"

**AND THEN SASUKE KILLED OROCHIMARU.**

"No!" Yelled Kabuto.

"...are you going to try to kill me to avenge Orochimaru?"

"Nah you can go."

"K thnx bai."

**AND THEN SASUKE FOUND SUIGETSU, KARIN, AND JUGO.**

"Suigetsu put some clothes on."

"No."

"Suigetsu put some clothes on."

"No."

"Don't make me turn you into Kool Aid!"

"Okay fine."

"I'm bored."

"Let's go kill Itachi.

**AND THEN SASUKE BEAT ITACHI.**

"Not cool lil' bro."

**AND THEN ITACHI DIED.**

"Hey wanna join my secret club?" Asked Madara who was Tobi who was leading the Akatsuki the whole time.

"Sure."

"Hey let's make an army and rule the world."

"Sounds cool."

**AND THEN JIRAIYA VISITED TSUNADE.**

"Hey I found the Akatsuki leader. He's in a very little tiny country that no one's ever heard of."

"Good work Jiraiya! I'll just send Naruto as always and he'll beat everyone as always!"

"No! What if it's someone I know? I must talk to them first!"

**AND THEN JIRAIYA WENT TO VISIT THE AKATSUKI LEADER.**

"Well would you look at that, it's my old students Konan and Yahiko!"

"No! My name is Pain!"

"What? And why are you in leading the Akatsuki? What kind of name is Pain?!"

"DON'T JUDGE ME! THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM SENSEI!"

**AND THEN PAIN KILLED JIRAIYA AND TSUNADE TOLD NARUTO.**

"Yea Pain killed Jiraiya."

"No!"

"And now he's coming to kill us all!"

"No!"

"And you need to go to Froggy Land!"

"Noooo!"

**AND THEN NARUTO WENT TO FROGGY LAND.**

"Put this makeup and jacket on and you'll be more powerful!"

"k thnx bai"

**AND THEN PAIN ATTACKED THE VILLAGE.**

"Where's Naruto?" Pain asked everyone.

"We're not telling!" Everyone said back.

"Tell me or else!"

"Or else what?"

"Or I'll take the village and push it somewhere else!"

**AND THEN PAIN PUSHED THE VILLAGE.**

"I'm here!" Said Naruto as he appeared.

"Naruto, Pain pushed the village away!" Yelled Tsundae

"Looks like I'll need some...PAINkillers!"

"..."

"Go kill him."

"Okay."

**AND THEN NARUTO FOUGHT PAIN.**

Pain said, "Now, you will learn the meaning of-"

"Naruto I love you!" Screamed Hinata who was obsessed with Naruto this whole time.

"Don't interrupt me!"

**AND THEN PAIN STABBED HINATA.**

"That looked PAINful!" Said Naruto.

"Okay, you die next."

**AND THEN NARUTO BEAT PAIN.**

"Wait a minute, there's someone controlling Pain!"

**AND THEN NARUTO WENT TO THE SECRET AKATSUKI TREE HOUSE.**

"Oh no he found us." Said Nagato who was controlling Pain.

"I'll stop him!" Said Konan.

"No! You're too good you might kill the main character!"

**AND THEN NAGATO PULLED A KIMIMARO AND DIED.**

"Well, that's that." Then Konan left.

* * *

**MEANWHILE IN THE VILLAGE.**

"Oh no, like 4 people are going to attack everyone! ASSEMBLE THE COUNTRIES!" Ordered Danzo who's the new Hokage since Tsunade is sleeping.

**AND THEN ALL THE COUNTRIES ASSEMBLED ON A MOUNTAIN.**

"Your country sucks!"

"No your country sucks!"

"HEY EVERYONE SASUKE'S HERE AND HE'S GOING TO KILL DANZO!" Announced Zetsu who's one of the last Akatsuki.

"Oh snap!" The Danzo ran away.

Then Sasuke was all like, "ZETSU WHAT THE FU-"

**AND THEN SASUKE FOLLOWED DANZO.**

"Sasuke you can't kill me! I have eyes...ON MY ARM!"

**AND THEN SASUKE STILL KILLED DANZO.**

"Danzo's dead! Quick Kakashi lead our nation!"

"But I don't wanna."

"Oh look Tsunade woke up!"

"Let's team up with the other nations and go to war!"

"Oh boy! I can't wait!" Said Naruto!

"No Naruto go sit on an island!"

"Awwww."  
**AND THEN NARUTO WENT TO THE ISLAND.**

"Yo wassup? I'm Bee and my tailed beast is-"

"A bee?"

"No an octopus. Fool."

"What the fu-"

**AND THEN EVERYONE (BUT NARUTO) WENT TO WAR.**

* * *

**[A/N] I'm going to continue this, but I'm waiting for more Naruto to be released so I can write a larger chapter, so it could take a while! If you want more follow the story, and leave a review for motivation!**


End file.
